Marriage is a journey with the person you love most in your life. It taught us a lot of lessons and it is a totally different ball game when you are attached and when you are married. I have been married for more than 9 years and here are 10 things I learnt from my marriage that should never be done.
- Not Understanding Diverse Background And Childhood
- Feeling Inferior Towards Earning Power Of Your Partner
- Forcing Your Own Religious Beliefs
- Not Discussing Family Finances
- Cold Wars After Quarrel
- Lack Of Apology
- Learn To Say Thank You
- Showing Respect To Your New Family Members
- Physical Intimacy
- Time
Not Understanding Diverse Background And Childhood
As companions, we would not share the same background and childhood. We may originate from distinctive families and once in a while from diverse societies or from diverse towns. There would always be differences on how we perceive our perfect marriage to be at the initial stages. Marriage breakdown may start with the initial differences in a marriage.
Feeling Inferior Towards Earning Power Of Your Partner
Your partner may have better career prospects and exposure than you. You may start to feel inferior and feel that your partner is looking down on you. This kind of feelings will normally take place when the wife is earning more than the husband. Always communicate with your spouse about your inferiority status and work things out together.
Forcing Your Own Religious Beliefs
It is important to respect every religion in the world. Your partner may originate from diverse religious foundations and beliefs. Never ever force your partner to accept your religion as everyone have different thoughts and beliefs.
It is always amazing a couple that knew from the beginning stage while they were dating and courting that they were of diverse religious foundations would now start to squabble when they became husband and wife.
Not Discussing Family Finances
Most couples tend to avoid discussing their finances as they felt uneasy about it. It is very important to maintain a conversation regarding this topic as you are not living on your own anymore.It is better to be open and you will not like to surprise your partner from a sudden debt or business loan and expect him/her to service it for you
A couple should always discuss the financial future together especially when there are children in the family. Besides, having a common financial goal is something that will actually strengthen your marriage than weakening it.
Cold Wars After Quarrel
One of the main reasons that cause marriage breakdown is that most couples love to quarrel and go on cold wars for many days or even weeks. My spouse and I always make it a point to never bring a quarrel till the next day. Allowing your problems to snowball would only add more strain on your relationship in the coming years. It would be worst when future minor quarrels are blown out of proportion as you or your partner may bring up past issues which are not resolved previously.
[Related Article: 19 Things I Love Most About My Spouse And Marriage]Lack Of Apology
It is really not tough to say sorry when you are in the wrong. The worst thing to happen is that you or your spouse refuses to take up responsibility and trying to find a scapegoat for your problems. I normally would say sorry 9 out of 10 times even though it is not my fault most of the time. If a sorry can resolve most of the conflicts instantly, I would do it most of the time.
Learn To Say Thank You
When your spouse had done something for you like buying a gift or cooking up a delicious meal, remember to say thank you and appreciate it. Gratitude is always important to keep your passion for love running actively.
Showing Respect To Your New Family Members
Whether you like or don’t like your spouse’s family members, always show respect to them. Based on normal human lifespan, they should be in your life for at least the next 10 to 20 years. Make an effort to join their family gatherings and get a chance to struck up a conversation. Your partner would appreciate it and would also be kind to your own family members.
Physical Intimacy
Regardless of whether you enjoy physical intimacy with your spouse, it is a must to make your marriage connection strong. There are a lot of cases where men or women alike have extra-marital affairs due to the lack of sex life.
It would be healthy to make love for at least once a week. According to Olson and Olson (2000), “Married people tend to be healthier, live longer, have more wealth and economic assets, and have more satisfying sexual relationships than single or cohabiting individuals. Seek help if you feel that a lack of physical intimacy is causing a marriage breakdown.
Time
We all have 24 hours, 1440 minutes, 86400 seconds per day. Always make good use of your time as you only die once and live every second. Make it a point to spend at least 2 hours per day with your loved ones. Check out the video below by Brad Browning on some other useful tips if you are still unable to revive your dying marriage.
Wrap Up
Here you go. Hope that these 10 things are useful and applicable for your own marriage. Do note that a longlasting marriage takes 2 hands to clap and always look to show love and appreciation for your partner
