Sexual confidence starts with knowledge. And yes—sometimes, that means facing a few awkward truths about how people use adult toys.
I’ve coached hundreds of individuals and couples through sexual blocks, disconnects, and confusion over how to use sex toys the right way.
Most of the issues don’t come from lack of desire. They come from bad habits, misinformation, or silent embarrassment.
Let’s clear things up—without shame, without fluff, and with real strategies that work.
Key Highlights
- Many people unknowingly misuse adult toys, which can affect pleasure and safety.
- Cleaning mistakes are more common than you think and can lead to infections.
- Lube matters—both the type and the timing.
- Not all toys are body-safe, and you need to check materials.
- Communication with partners changes everything in shared toy use.
- Quality matters more than people assume—it affects results, comfort, and longevity.
- Learn how to use popular toys, including rabbit vibrators, the right way.
Why Mistakes Happen—and Why They Matter
Most mistakes don’t come from ignorance. They come from silence. People assume that because toys look intuitive, they must be foolproof. But pleasure tools—just like anything else—require intention and informed use.
Misuse can lead to irritation, numbness, reduced sensation, infections, or a complete disconnect between your body and your arousal. Add a partner to the mix, and now you also risk confusion, emotional distance, or performance stress.
If you’ve ever thought, “Maybe I’m doing it wrong,” you’re not alone—and you’re not broken.
Let’s start fixing what’s fixable.
Mistake 1: Skipping the Warm-Up
Toys should never be the starting point. They’re enhancements, not shortcuts. If you go straight for high-intensity vibration or deep penetration without mental and physical arousal, your body will treat it like an intrusion. Not pleasure.
Even solo sessions need warm-up. Arousal is a full-body experience, and when you skip the buildup, you cheat yourself out of the full spectrum of sensation.
Fix it:
Start with slower stimulation. Touch, fantasy, scent, music—whatever helps you get present. Add the toy when you already feel a level of excitement—not as a way to force it.
Mistake 2: Using the Wrong Lube (or None at All)
I can’t stress this enough. Lube changes everything. It reduces friction, prevents micro-tears, and increases sensation. But not all lubes pair well with all toys.
Quick breakdown:
- Silicone-based lube: Long-lasting, but not safe for silicone toys.
- Water-based lube: Safe for all toys, but may need reapplication.
- Oil-based lube: Not for use with latex or many toys—can break down materials.
Fix it:
Check the toy’s material and match it with the right lube. And never assume that natural lubrication will be enough—arousal levels vary, and even with strong desire, extra glide often enhances pleasure.
Mistake 3: Choosing Poor-Quality Materials
Not all toys are created equal. Low-cost options may look the same at first glance but can contain porous, unsafe materials that hold bacteria, cause irritation, and degrade over time.
Watch out for:
- Jelly rubber or rubber blends
- Toys with a strong plastic or chemical smell
- Products with no brand transparency
Quality matters. Body-safe silicone, stainless steel, or ABS plastic are all trusted options.
Fix it:
Buy from brands that prioritize safety, not just marketing. Transparency, certifications, and product testing aren’t luxuries—they’re necessities.
One company that stands out for both design and safety is The Rabbit Company. They offer a full range of rabbit vibrators with high-quality materials, body-safe silicone, and a five-year limited warranty you won’t find everywhere.
Mistake 4: Neglecting Toy Cleaning
Too many people toss their toy in a drawer after use and call it a day. That’s not just lazy—it’s dangerous. Bodily fluids, lube residue, and bacteria build up fast and can cause infections, even with occasional use.
Fix it:
Clean toys before and after use. Use warm water and unscented antibacterial soap, or buy a proper toy cleaner. Let it air dry fully before storage. Never submerge toys unless they’re waterproof.
If it goes inside your body, it deserves the same respect as any medical tool.
Mistake 5: Failing to Use the Toy as Intended
Some people press too hard, insert too fast, or use a toy for a purpose it wasn’t designed for. This leads to pain, irritation, or in worst cases, injury.
Every toy has a purpose—some stimulate externally, some internally, and some are dual-action. Misuse leads to frustration and disappointment.
Common mismatches:
- Using intense wand vibrators on areas that need gentle stimulation
- Inserting toys not designed for penetration
- Ignoring anatomical fit and chasing power over precision
Fix it:
Read instructions. Watch tutorials if needed. Experiment slowly. Don’t push your body past its threshold in hopes of faster results.
Mistake 6: Making It a Race to Orgasm
If the toy becomes a tool to “hurry up and finish,” you’re training your body to bypass nuance. That’s fine occasionally, but when it becomes a habit, you lose sensitivity.
Quick finishes wire your brain toward urgency, not pleasure.
Fix it:
Shift focus away from climax and toward sensation. Explore settings. Use pauses. Tease yourself. Train your nervous system to enjoy, not just to perform.
Mistake 7: Using Toys in Silence with a Partner
You wouldn’t let someone drive your car without talking about how it works. So why give them access to your body without conversation?
Lack of communication during shared toy use leads to awkwardness, insecurity, or even emotional hurt.
Fix it:
Talk before the toy enters the scene. Ask each other questions:
- What feels good?
- What’s off-limits?
- Do you want to control it or watch me do it?
Use safe words if needed. Keep talking during the act. If something doesn’t feel right, stop and adjust. Shared toy use can deepen intimacy when done with trust.
Mistake 8: Overlooking Your Pelvic Floor
Intense vibration can feel amazing—but if your pelvic muscles are weak or overly tense, you might not enjoy the full experience.
Your pelvic floor controls arousal, orgasm, and muscle coordination. Toy use without awareness can sometimes make you clench more or disconnect from subtle sensations.
Fix it:
Do regular pelvic floor exercises. Use internal toys with biofeedback. If needed, work with a pelvic floor therapist or coach to rebuild your connection to those muscles.
Mistake 9: Expecting Toys to Fix Everything
Toys can enhance sex. They can boost arousal, deepen connection, and unlock new experiences. But they can’t solve core problems like resentment, stress, shame, or emotional disconnection.
Too many couples use toys as a shortcut, hoping that “spicing things up” will save a sex life that’s already lost its foundation.
Fix it:
Use toys as tools—not solutions. Communicate. Get therapy if needed. Explore intimacy with curiosity, not pressure.
Final Thoughts—Use Your Toys With Confidence
You deserve pleasure without confusion, hesitation, or regret. When used with care and intention, adult toys can elevate your connection with your own body—or with a partner. But don’t let misuse sabotage that potential.
Get the right lube. Choose safe materials. Clean your toys. Communicate clearly. And most importantly—stay curious about your own pleasure.
Growth doesn’t end with one orgasm or one product. It begins with the choice to show up for yourself, fully.
