While waiting for the first date, we want to impress our potential partner and to please them. Therefore, we take seriously the choice of the outfit and the place of the date itself.
But sometimes, this excitement plays a cruel joke on us and provokes us to do something that can spoil such a long-awaited evening. We have analyzed all these mistakes and provided you with a list that will help you avoid them in the future.
1. Spending too much time with your phone
An issue not so much related to dating as to secular etiquette in principle, but worth mentioning nonetheless. Even if you are used to not letting your smartphone out of your hands, every hour delighting your pen pals from Ladadate with new selfies and pictures of food — try at least for the time of a date to put your dearly beloved gadget in the far pocket of your coat and devote all your attention to your companion. And let the whole world wait.
2. Choosing inappropriate or uncomfortable outfits
When choosing an outfit for a rendezvous, remember that it should be:
• Comfortable,
• Elegant,
• and your image should hint at sexuality, but not shout about it at the top of your voice.
This is more about girls. Common fashion mistakes of the first date are overly revealing necklines, transparent fabrics, and overly tight, uncomfortable, or quickly wrinkling clothing items. It is better to refuse all this, as well as from vulgar make-up and obsessive use of perfume.
3. Ordering the wrong food
This point can be ignored if you do not suffer from perfectionism and are confident enough in yourself. For those who certainly want to make a perfect impression, it is recommended to choose options that are extremely aesthetic and easy to use. It makes sense to give up pasta (you must admit that eating it beautifully — an art that requires virtuoso skill), as well as any dishes that are eaten with your hands (for instance, french fries or chicken wings). And, of course, read the descriptions on the menu carefully — dishes containing garlic or onion are inappropriate on the first date by default.
4. Having a drink too many
Perhaps the most dangerous item on the list of mistakes on the first date. Whatever jitters you feel, alcohol is not the best way to deal with it. If you lose control over the number of portions of “sedative”, you risk waking up the next morning at best with a headache, and at worst — with a feeling of shame and a great desire to erase yesterday’s rendezvous from memory. So limit yourself to a glass of good wine, and to calm your nerves, remind yourself more often that your potential partner is probably as worried as you are.
5. Telling about your exes
For all the evidence, this item continues to lead in the list of most popular mistakes people make on first dates. Someday you may tell your potential partner about your first love, and how your ex broke your heart, and how you almost got married after a holiday romance — someday, but not now. It is worth postponing with questions about the ex-lovers of your potential partner. Focus on each other tonight — you definitely do not need the ghosts of the past on your first date.
6. Asking about future plans
The desired number of children, attitude towards the institution of marriage, and plans for the next five years — this is an incomplete list of topics for a first date that instantly provokes an attack of panic. So, if it seems that your potential partner does not suit you, the surest way to get rid of them is to attack with questions about the seriousness of intentions towards you and offer to introduce them to relatives.
7. Offering to share a bill
The presence of this item in the list of first-date mistakes can cause a storm of indignation among independent ladies who value financial independence. But you cannot argue with statistics: the vast majority of men (80%) said that by offering to pay for their own dinner on the first date, the lady makes it clear that it is pointless to wait for a second rendezvous. So, if you like the gentleman, let him pay for your coffee at least this time: you will still have the opportunity to demonstrate your independence.
8. Talking about politics
The situation in the world is now very tense. But do not dive into a political debate right away. See if you can talk about it calmly. If it is crucial for you to filter out people with opposing political views, wait until the second date. If you cannot wait to talk about it, let the interlocutor at least calmly finish the first glass.
9. Self-obsession
Good conversation means that you both listen to each other, ask questions, and share something about yourself. But often, one person is so carried away by their own story that they forget to ask questions. Maybe they want to impress by listing their accomplishments. Maybe they do not consider someone else’s opinion worthy of attention.
Do not make that mistake again. Ask the other person and listen to their answers. This will make a good impression, and you will learn more about your new acquaintance.
10. Excessive persistence
If you are ready to have sex after the first date, do not pressure your potential partner.
No one will be comfortable with someone who does not understand the word no. Be confident in yourself, but take rejection calmly. This behavior seems to be the most attractive.
11. Taking everything too seriously
Excitement, thrill, and anticipation of a pleasant evening should not be mixed with tension and the desire for total control. Treat the first date as a game — unpredictable, exciting, and enjoyable, do not make global plans, and most importantly — enjoy the moment.
Naturally, you look forward to meeting a nice person. But do not expect to start building a common future right away.
12. Obtrusiveness
Let’s say you like each other and decide to meet again. Behave naturally, arrange a time and wait for the appointed day. Do not write a hundred messages a day, be friends on all social networks, and do not send your naughty pictures. This behavior will end with the refusal of the new acquaintance from the second date.
